Hmm..
Well, there is a good bit that needs work. At least the story is somewhat constant. I'm still glad to see you put alot of work in this,but it still seemed somewhat half-assed in a sense. The lines may need to be cleaned up some because there's a stall in a scene, not too many dialogue in there. graphics and all looks generally the same,but its still good. Make sure the script for the character's lines are well revised and focus on moving the story along within the timeframe of the flash.
I look forward to see some more improvement in the next episode. ^_^